" What will you do, spank me?" At the very least, Joel, at the very least."We went out the following week and we seemed to click. Danielle didn't take...any shit from me and I didn't give her any. I fell for her, in a big way. We had been seeing each other for about a year before I proposed. I hadn't even slept with her yet. When she said yes, I was over the moon with joy.We had a quiet wedding with only our immediate families present. It was a great day. Danielle reminded me at the reception. When the two strangers entered, Natasha stood up as her two blond companions excused themselves. She was now dressed as a priestess of Calypso and the woman looked at her with scepticism. The woman spoke first. “What are you doing here? Are you one of Yarba’s spies?” “I am Natasha from London and Calypso brought me here to help you find the stolen Sacred Vulva.” The two looked at her with amazement. “Who told you the Sacred Vulva was stolen?” demanded the woman. “Your Goddess, Calypso.”. *****Long ago I told my father -- sperm donor -- Oh Hell: Daddy, "But I'mgoing to make the sweet potato pie all by myself. It'll be real good." I said go outside and play with the boys! Now!" But they're playing army. I want to help. Everyone will like it;promise. Gran'mommy said it's your favorite." Stop. That's enough. OUT!"*****I closed my eyes and started the message."Hi, honey. It's Mom. We're all here thinking of you of course. We're atPete's this year. Pete and Daddy are taking everyone. ’ She sighed, ‘Mostly just a dick, and not even a good one.’ She looked at Josh, ‘But I’d get my hopes up the next time, all the same. I try to read romance novels sometimes, and every once in a while, I think that the author is taking the couple there realistically, but I never really believe it. I keep thinking of my own experience, and they lose me right about there.’ She sipped her wine, ‘I suppose that the concept is important to hang onto, but there ought to be a disclaimer somewhere.
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